Training: Bruce Wayne becomes a ninja

Eat right, blah blah blah, train, blah blah blah, you need heavy weight, no you need light weight/high reps, CARDIO!!!!!

 

It’s enough to drive anyone freaking insane!  What path is the correct path?! 
If I lift big, will I become one of these muscle-headed body builders?  I don’t want to look all veiny, and gross.   But if I don’t, will I look frail and sickly?

Well, let’s take the most common approaches and look at each of them, shall we?

BANE:
Bane is the image of your steroid injecting, muscle-head (that’s not to say that all body-builders use ‘roids.)  He is the guy that believes that High weight/low reps is the way to go.  Arnold’s picture is on everything he owns.  The gym is a place for iron to be moved.  Don’t even talk to me about row machines, treadmills, and any dumbbell below 45 pounds.  A typical workout looks like this:

MONDAY: Biceps
TUESDAY: Triceps
WEDNESDAY: Rest
THURSDAY: Upper Body
FRIDAY: Biceps
SATURDAY: Triceps
SUNDAY: Arms

They walk (crawl/shamble) around after leg day, and constantly brag about how much they can deadlift/squat.

NOW, let me be very clear on this subject.  I have nothing against these kinds of people.  In fact, some of the best people I know are these kinds of athletes.  They don’t understand my fascination with Crossfit/Functional Fitness.  “Hand-stand push-ups?  Why?  You can’t get big by doing those.”

THE FLASH:
“Hey man, do you want to go to the gym with me?”
“No thanks man, I’m running 1,000 miles today!”

Yep, we all have a friend like this….runners.  (low growling noise)  I want to make my feelings very clear on this, I HATE RUNNING!!!!  with a passion that is only reserved for my enemies in the heat of battle, I hate running.  In fact the only thing I don’t hate about running, is finishing the run.  I like that part. 

These people irritate the living piss out of me.  Are they fast?  HELL YEAH!  I used to have a guy I worked with, who would run 3 miles, in boots and utes (A Marine uniform that consisted of our combat boots, our uniform trousers, and just a green t-shirt), while everyone else would be in shorts and running shoes…and he would still beat us by 5 mins.  This is after he would give us a head start.  I hated him more than anyone.  Skinny punk.

But don’t look for him at the gym.  That wasn’t his thing.  He ran…a lot.  Did pull-ups because he was required to do them for our fitness tests…but weights?  NEVER!

BATMAN:
I hope you understand by now that this is all based on my opinion.  I am not a professional.  I don’t have any fancy pieces of paper that declares that I know what I’m talking about.  I’m just some dude.  But that being said, I will proceed to tell you how I did things…and of course I would chronicle my experience as Batman…my blog, I’m the hero here…

In order to run across the rooftops, jump over cars, swing into action, perform amazing acrobatic tricks, all before delivering the knockout punch to the dastardly villain, Batman had to incorporate MULTIPLE disciplines of fitness.

Did he need strength?  Yes, but there isn’t much call for a hero that can only move large weights in an isolated manner, he would have to have strong stabilizers.  He would have to be able to lift weights while moving multiple parts.  Olympic lifts would be the training that would do the trick.  Cleans, Clean and Jerk, Clean and Press, and the Snatch. 

“But doesn’t it take a lot of strength to do acrobatics?”  SHHHH, I’m getting to that. 
Not only would he have to be able to lift heavy objects, but he himself would be a heavy object.  Body weight plus armor and weapons would require that he be able to bend, flex, and move that weight as easily as he moves on a dance floor at a fund-raiser.  Rings, pull-ups, burpees, box jumps (with body armor), Kettlebells, and sandbags would be used to develop this.  And in such high reps that it would create a muscle endurance. 

Would he have to run?  Yep.  Parkour would have been the object of the training for this.  Running, jumping, climbing, rolling, falling, flipping.   All of these develop strong muscles, and endurance. 

Now, I have not been able to perform Parkour on the ship, everyone here frowns on me climbing on stuff here…something about “You crazy idiot!!!  You’re breaking everything!”

So I have to settle for running on a treadmill.  Which, is the most boring activity I could find…  Second most boring activity I could find…the most boring being riding on a stationary bike.  I am excited to say that I have my treadmill 5k down to 25(ish) minutes. 

So what are my plans for fitness when I get home?   Because let’s face it, we know that everyone gets in shape on deployment (if you didn’t, now you do…so just nod and smile).  Well, here is my plan.

www.Crossfit.com and www.spartan.com

The wife and I have talked about us competing in obstacle races.  What better way to get all your fitness into one package than to run a bit, and then have to use strength and functional fitness to navigate through a puzzle in your path.  Truly, this is what Batman would have done for training. 

I have already found the next race that is going after I get home, and am excited to train for it.  This race has really gotten me fired up, I feel like I did when i started the Spartan Warrior Workout.  I mean, I now have a goal, something that I want to conquer…

We plan to prepare by doing our Crossfit workouts, and running multiple 5ks.  I love running those behind my wife…I really like the view.  In fact, she has us signed up for one…or two…

Well, that’s all I really have on my rambling, off the wall, random topics.
Y’all take care and TRAIN HARD!

 

“SPARTANS! WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION?!”
“AROO, AROO, AROO!”

 

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2 thoughts on “Training: Bruce Wayne becomes a ninja

  1. Heya, just found your blog through nerdfitness. Good on you for finding what works for you and sticking to it! My sister is one of those who can run forever as if it’s no big deal… crazy, I tell you. Anyhow, keep up the writing, you make for a fun, and very real, read.

    Like

    1. Thank you for reading! As any new blogger, will do, I ask that you share with your friends…I try to keep it as real as possible, I’m not a professional trainer or writer, so my blog is just that…my thoughts on stuff. it’s raw, gritty, and usually not heavy on the science…because lets face it, most of us don’t understand that crap anyways.

      As I said in a previous post, I write it this way because ANYONE can be Batman. I want this to be the theme in anyone’s life…”I can be Batman”.

      Like

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